WEIGHT: 60 kg
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I always fantasize about being a porn star I would love to be a porn star I find them so sexy so powerful and so strong. All I want is to look like one when I said I have a feeling that I have HPD wasn't because I just think that I like being seductive seducing men and seeing them get seduced makes me happy. I never hated what I did I always enjoyed it so much. I felt so disgusted it was so ew he was so unattractive and I hated my self for sleeping with him he then wanted me to escort him on a business holiday but I refused I couldn't stand him for few hours how would I stand him for an entire month.
I also refused because again I never did it for the money and money wasnt the motive it was the fun of it and the idea of being an escort. This guy was just so old and unattractive I slept with other older men even older than him but he was just the worst he was so short so weird looking.
I loved that too that I tease em so much that am so perfect they would wanna see me again but then I say NO! I like being sexy I like turning on men especially strangers and seeing that look in their eyes. I dont know what kind of psychological disorder is that. I never lie I am always very honest I would tell my future husband that am not a virgin I would tell him how many men I slept with but I can never say that at one stage I slept with men for money that will just never be said.
I cant. I would be a porn star except you know ppl will find out will know who I am but I find that so sexy too. I wanted to be an actress so bad so I can live so many characters and be whoever I wanna be. I read about psychology so much but I find my self so contradicting. I am the type that when I watch a drama movie and see a mom and her daughter hug I would cry. I cant be shouted at I would cry. I am so delicate inside am such a classy lady I know how to be so classy and presentable when we have family dinners and functions.
I am also so romantic too but I have never got a chance to show that romance except for one guy I had before. I never let anyone in and I never drop my guard as much as am so open as much am so unpredictable. I can snap in a split second and blow my entire life away. I have thought about killing myself before when I get family problems with my parents I had a miserable childhood and my teen years were shit too. I really really really wanted to see a psychologist when I came here someone who would understand me and help me push away the bad side and like bring up the nice girl in me.